Roles, Goals and Responsibilities

As a young wife and mother I was often overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the tasks I faced every day. From the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning till long past the time that my family had retired for the night I was working to keep all the balls in the air. Many times I felt as if all I had done each day was meet my family's basic needs for survival...cooking, cleaning, bathing, dressing, laundry...the list was endless. I also felt as if all I was doing was futile...for every load of laundry done there were 3 more waiting. I worried that I was neglecting so many important aspects of raising my family. Being focused on the physical needs of my children I questioned whether or not I was giving them enough spiritual nourishment. Were we having enough fun? Was I truly preparing them for the future? The answer to these questions more often than not was a resounding "no!"

After taking on the responsibility of my children's education the load felt even more unmanageable...now I had to be sure they received a superior education. When a parent decides to homeschool it's because they want to provide an education for their children that is better than they would have received anywhere else!

Add to this our church involvement and you begin to get a picture of how demanding life was for us at that time.

Guess what? It didn't slow down. We added four more children to our family. Life dealt us some cards that were hard to play. Our responsibilities increased and pressure mounted. But it DID get easier because of one simple thing...I learned to identify my roles, goals and responsibilities. Once this happened everything I did had increased significance. Cooking dinner wasn't just another meal in the long unending line of meals I would cook in my lifetime. Suddenly cooking dinner was a way of honoring my husband, nurturing my children and helping me fulfill my role as homekeeper. Every single responsibility I discharged each day increased my effectiveness in regard to the role it related to.

It has been fifteen years since I first sat down with a pen and paper to identify my roles, goals and responsibilities. The original copy that I typed and printed on Kirsten's computer at 2:00AM has long since disappeared. But the transformation that began then has continued to enhance my life and the lives of those I love.

This is an extremely abbreviated look at my personal roles, goals and responsibilities. Yours will be much different than mine, but I do encourage you to try this exercise.

Roles: (all the different parts I play)
Child of God
Wife
Mother
Homekeeper
Educator
Family member
Friend
Minister

Goals: (my ultimate desire for the outcome of each role)

There is no way that I can recreate every goal for each role listed, but here is one...

Homekeeper: To "look well to the ways of my household, and eat not the bread of idleness." (Prov. 31:27) To create and maintain a warm, nurturing environment for my family. To complete necessary tasks in an orderly and timely manner. That our home is a clean, pleasant shelter from the pressures of the world, and that it would be an optimal environment for each member of my family to learn, grow, thrive and reach their full potential.

Responsibilities: (the daily things that must be done to see that the goal is reached)

Homekeeper:
Create and implement a schedule for cleaning, laundry and meals.
Be aware that atmosphere is everything...engage the 5 senses.
Involve the children in this process in order to prepare them for the future.

For each of these areas I developed an detailed list of instructions that included everything from how often to vacuum to how to present a meal attractively.

Looking back now I am amazed at how difficult the first years of adulthood were for me. And thankful for the time I spent defining who I was, who I wanted to be and how to get from there to here!