Dinnertime

Dinner was a sacred institution in my home growing up. At 5:00 our family gathered around the table for a home-made-from-scratch meal. It didn't matter what we were doing, everything was put on hold for supper...it was the best time of the day.

My dad is a minister and as I was growing up, a home missionary...a church planter. Our income was never large, but mom had a way of making everything seem special and taste good. When I think of the time that she spent transforming meager ingredients into the wholesome, comforting food I ate as a child I am amazed. Mom worked, was a busy pastors wife, helped support the church with candy sales (candy that she made herself every Thursday in our kitchen) and was very hands-on raising my sister and me. AND you could perform open heart surgery on her bathroom floors any day of the week. So, the time spent on dinner could have easily been spent on many other worthy things...but mom and dad knew the importance of connecting with their girls and dinner is one of my most treasured memories.

After dinner we very often pushed the plates back and sat at the table for an hour or longer just talking. It was during these "table talks" that my parents gently probed into our lives and extracted the joys and hurts of the day. They encouraged us, cried with us, laughed with us, reproved us and prayed with us. The nuggets of wisdom that were mined during these conversations have benefited me all my life, and I am thankful that my parents had the foresight to realize that dinner was not just a time to fuel the body with nutritious food, but an ideal time to feed the souls of their children with acceptance and gentle correction. In our home the dinner table wasn't the place where we children were taken to task concerning our report cards or untidy bedrooms...that sort of correction was done privately, preserving in us a sense of dignity. Table time correction was more direction...coaching, if you will.

Dinner guests always marvelled at our family's tradition of extending the "eating hour" with conversation. They joined in and enjoyed it...and left commenting that they felt satisfied in body, and in spirit. My dad, loving the Bible as he does, always managed to throw in a bit of the Word during our table talk. His word pictures and object lessons stay with me to this day.

So...what is my point? I want to give my family the same sort of warm, comforting dinnertime experiences that I had as a child, but I realized a little while ago that I wasn't succeeding. Dinner is so often eaten "on the fly". Every evening is packed with church activities, social obligations or homework. The leisurely hour spent around the table is non-existent in our home. We come to the table (which we do set with a cloth and nice dishes) and eat quickly. Our conversation centers around the activities of the evening or the next day. With 7 children at home everyone is always going in a different direction, and coordinating transportation and schedules can be a challenge. Sometimes we rush in from the afternoons activities with only enough time to change clothes and give the little girls a snack before we race out again...always running just a little behind schedule. "Dinner" is then eaten after we return, and eaten quickly so that we can all get to bed and start another busy day a few hours later.

I made a commitment to myself a few years ago that we would have 2 or 3 meals a week that were eaten calmly and leisurely...that we would take the time to enjoy the food and each other. I quickly found that the issue at stake wasn't a LACK of time, but a mismanagement of my time. That with a little forethought and planning we could have the same home-cooked-from-scratch meals that my mom made. Now we try to have dinner on the table by 5:00...just like my mom did...at least 3 days a week. I also worked out a series of menus...no more "Auuugghh...it's 5:00...WHAT is for dinner???" And I discovered freezer meals (Dinner My Way) which gave me many great ideas for pre-planning.

This is not to say that we always succeed in having Norman Rockwell dinner every day...but we do manage to spend quality time together eating well-planned, nicely presented meals at least 3 times each week. I have quit feeling guilty about the other 4 evenings. Our meals on those nights are usually crockpot meals or casseroles that are ready whenever someone is hungry or has time. And while we sit down together most nights, we are only able to linger at the table once or twice a week.

Has it made a difference? Yes. Have I re-created my childhood utopia? No. But it is my hope that my efforts are translating into warm family memories my children will carry with them into adulthood. Time marches on so quickly, and the days we spend together are priceless. I am determined to enjoy them to the fullest.